Having a little brother is great, having two little brothers is a lesson in teamwork. Back Flips
For a reason I could never quite wrap my head around a cousin of ours gave us a video camera one summer. This lead to a lot of great moments from our Fight Club to the Discovering that 2 out 3 of us could do back flips.
One boring day inspired by having a video camera we decided to go outside to find out if we could do back flips. After a couple of not so successful tries by all three of us Ryan and I finally got the hang of it. This lead to the attempt of the running, step on somebody, back flip you always see ninjas do. This did not go so well I went up higher then usual but fell straight on my head. After seeing my attempt Ryan decided he was good with a Regular back flip.
This is when we decided it was do or die time for Cody. We gave Cody one final attempt at a back flip and told him he better do it. After running through a laundry list of swears, he eventually gave his final back flip attempt. He travelled Straight up, but being so top heavy he came down like a stone bird right on his giant squash.
While he was laying there Ryan and I said "Cody since you can't do a back flip, go jump off the roof"
After a quick "F off" from Cody, we fired back with "Do it or we will throw you off". Now where I am from the guy with the video camera makes the rules and that is exactly what happened. Cody marched upstairs climbed out his window walked to the edge, hung off the roof and let go.
Ryan and I, super disappointed, said "You didn't jump". Cody understanding the difference marched back inside swearing so much he sounded like Yosemite Sam. Ryan and I still heard the swears as Cody came flying out his bedroom window, running across the roof and jumping to the ground.
He landed on his feet so hard that his head came and slammed into his knees breaking his nose before springing his body into the side of the neighbors house.
Duck or Duct?
While there wasn't much tv or video games at my Pepere's there was a huge yard and basement so we were never bored. One day we found a brand new roll of my Pepere's duct tape, so we did what any brothers would do and we taped the youngest, Cody, up like he was in a cocoon. After we realized taping him up was some what anti-climatic we decided to make it more interesting so we carried him to my Pepere's truck and placed him on top. To give him some incentive to try to get up we placed some delicious Chip Ahoys on his chest and took the rest of the Chip Ahoys inside to watch his struggles.
From inside we watched Cody rock back wondering if he would land on the road side or grass side of my Pepere's truck while we enjoyed delicious Chip Ahoys. Cody finally built up enough momentum to roll off the truck, sure enough he landed roadside he then inch wormed over to the fallen Chip Ahoys and ate them. He then somehow managed to stand up, hop all the way to the porch and ring the doorbell with his head.
I told Ryan to get the door, not wanting to deal with Cody who I could hear laughing from inside. Ryan like any good lackey answered the door and looked at Cody who was triumphantly laughing and fully expecting to be victoriously released, Ryan did the smart thing he pushed Cody over backwards and shut the door on him again.
It isn't Gay..........Its Magic
All older brothers have a dream for their younger brothers and one day the dream came true for me and Ryan. As we sat in my room wondering what we would do with our day Cody came running upstairs. "GUYS, GUYS" he yelled running up the stairs. Out of breathe he mustered "I have been watching magicians all day" presenting a roll of tape and a handful of rope he proclaimed "tie me up, I bet can get out".
Mine and Ryan's eyes lit up like Christmas at an orphanage. We rushed to tie him up. We rushed but with special attention to make sure Cody would not easily get free.
When we finished hog tying Cody and wrapping him in tape we stood above our handy work. Like genius Siamese twins, we suddenly had the most brilliant idea at the exact same time. "Cody every good magic trick needs a time element" we said hoisting Cody up and placing him face down in the tub. "You need to escape before the water fills up and this trick will be AWESOME" I said placing the plug in the tub and starting the water. Cody mumbled something but I couldn't understand because we had duct taped his mouth shut.
Ryan and I knowing we had something great going decided we would play it safe, suspiciously save. We shut the bathroom door and my bedroom door, turning on the radio, not to loud as to draw suspicion. Unlucky for us my mom happened to be bringing clothes up stairs at just the right time. Using her powers of deduction she noticed all the doors were shut and the music was playing just loud enough to almost drown out the sound of running water.
"What are you doing?" he questioned. "Nothing just listening to music" we said never making eye contact. "Why is the water running?" she asked opening the door seeing Cody tied up nose barely above water. She stopped the water but didn't drain and just ran out swinging, per usual.
Once you learn how to ride a bike you never remember....Like any little kids Ryan and I loved ripping around town on our sick mountain bikes, unfortunately for Ryan he wasn't very good.
Ryan had three very memorable accidents, I will go in order from least hilarious to most hilarious.
Must've been a ghost
Living right down the road from a cemetery naturally we would ride our bikes past it every day. You know those rod iron cemetery fences? Well so does Ryan.
We were riding our bikes past the fence when Ryan apparently nervous from thinking about crashing for no real reason took a face plant right into the rod iron fence.
Like the hands of god reached out and caught him
At my Pepere's there was this super sweet jump right in front of this tree but you had to hit the jump at the right angle or you would smoke the tree. Well after my cousin and I took the sweet jump over and over again Ryan finally got the courage. He took off pedalling his little heart out, giant head buried so he could put all of his concentration in getting his speed up. Unfortunately he hit the jump and flew directly into the tree, luckily for all of us it was a split tree
Like a prank planned by god himself Ryan got stuck in the tree, bike in the middle of the tree, Ryan hanging from the bike upside with no possible way to get out. After laughing at him for many many minutes we went inside and got my mom who also laughed at him for many many minutes.
The Slush Puppy incident
I really wish you could all listen to Ryan tell this story because no one tells it quite like him. So much like we had many times before we had just rode our bikes down to the IGA to make some delicious syrup filled, do it yourself, rainbow Slush Puppies. Now normal protocol was to ride down with our friend get some Slush Puppies and frosting then walk over to the laundry mat, get all loaded up on sugar and ride home empty handed.
For some reason on this particular day we were in a rush so Ryan and I just grabbed Slush Puppies and took off for home. According to Ryan he yelled to me to wait and I just looked back and rode away. Ryan, according to him was riding a bike slightly to big for him and having to awkwardly hold the Slush and ride was just not plausible for Ryan's skill level.
Keep in mind we do live right on an excessively busy road and we had to cross that rode to get from home to the IGA and back. As soon as I had the opportunity I made my way across Ryan tried to follow but under the pressure of being in the busy road he once again panicked and fell over. Bike falling on top of him and Slush Puppy spilling all over him. I did look back to see Ryan in the road bike on top of him struggling, traffic backing up but I figured he would get up and be right behind me.....Well he couldn't, the bike was to heavy for him, so as he laid there in the road 5 O'clock traffic piling up, horns honking, one person shouted "Get up Fag" I was already home enjoying my Slush Puppy. According to Ryan some kind hearted gentleman finally got up and helped him across the street.
Game Time
When you are three poor kids you invent a lot of totally awesome games. One of my all time favorites was called FaceBall. FaceBall was a simple game with simple rules, it takes at least 2 players. Player 1, aka the Baller, stands at the top of a stair case with a basketball or soccer ball, beginners may want to use a kick ball. Player 2, aka the Face, lays at the bottom of the stairs with his head towards the bottom step.
Now lets get started, the Baller throws the ball at the Face who is laying on the ground eyes shut with his hands behind his back. The Baller tries to hit the Face in the face, hence the name. The Baller gets 3 throws before he becomes the Face. The rules are only throw it as hard as you want it thrown at you and the Face cannot move, if the face moves that's 3 more throws. A pretty simple game but we loved it growing up.
The Hockey Checking Game
So this is a game we still play today and has had many variations but none as popular as the hockey checking game. Basically one dude has the puck and the other guys check him, a pin or a knock down means you now have the puck. This game resulted in a number of broken walls and conkies.
Cody probably got the worst of the conkies. Ryan low bridged him one day and Cody went over the top and landed straight on his head on the hardwood floor. Cody has a huge head so when my mom felt the house shake she ran to see what the problem was, she found Cody laying on the ground eyes rolled back in his head not breathing. In typical Mom fashion when she noticed Cody wasn't breathing she jumped up unleashing a volley of swears and punches that would have even the most hardened gangbanger crying for help. The beating did not stop until Cody woke up with a giant gasp for air. Cody slept in the living room for the next week and couldn't stand up without puking. At this time concussions were not taken too seriously so their was no medical help.
Ryan also got a pretty good conkie but in my defense it was mostly his fault. We used to play a lot in my bedroom. The walls in my room are made of the old horse hair plaster and are much harder to go through then the standard drywall we are all use to. Well, the fun thing to do when you had the puck was to go by the bed and jump just before you get checked so you can go flying across the bed. This led to many dents and chips in the wall from our heads but one time I hammered Ryan especially hard and he went head first into the wall leaving a pretty big hole. It was the kind of hit where you are just sure someone got hurt so Cody and I stopped playing immediately. Ryan stood up holding his head, he said he was fine and walked to go down stairs. The second he reached the doorway he collapsed, fearing the vicious punches from our mother and worried about the fact that Ryan might be dead Cody and I did the logical thing and dragged him back into the bedroom and shut the door. Ryan finally awoke and Cody and I convinced him not tell mom or we will all get in trouble. It took a couple of days but the parents finally saw the hole in the wall and we got another well deserved beating.
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