Two Crazies, One Peter Pan Outfit, and a Murder Suicide

Bicycle Barry
Bicycle Ted had a brother named Bicycle Barry. Barry did ride a bike but not nearly as flashy as Bicycle Ted's bike. Barry also did not ride his bike nearly as much, the bicycle part was really more of a surname. I don't really have a good story of Barry from when I was younger or any stories of how neighborhood kids would torment him or how he would torment them. Barry laid pretty low. One particullary hot summer day Ryan and I did find Barry wearing his starter jacket sleeping in the mini park. We saw him when we were running so we went over to check and see if he was dead. He was laying on the ground so we poked him with a stick and he rolled over and let out a grunt. We knew he wasn't dead so we walked over to our house and got him a glass of water. We brought the glass of water back to the mini park and poked Barry with the same stick. "Barry get up and drink this before you die" I said. "Probably take off your Charolette Hornets jacket, too" Ryan said. "Thanks" Barry said and as he rolled off and took the drink. After he crushed the water he went right back to sleep. Ryan and I figured he was probably drunk so we left him there to sleep it off, he woke before he died of heat exhaustion so everything was fine.

Boris Derry
Boris was far and away the scariest crazy person in Randolph. Even the local kids didn't mess with him, in fact most people would just turn and run in the other direction when they saw him. If there was one thing little kids in Randolph were warned of it was not to go near Boris, don't go near his house, just don't be anywhere around him.

I guess the best way to explain Boris would be to start with his appearance. Boris was a huge man, with dirty unkept greasy gray hair, he always had gray stubble, a face so greasy and dirty it look like he was always just working under a car in the middle of the summer, and dirty foggy glasses scratched so much you could barely he see his deranged eyes.

Boris drove a huge old Cadillac but instead of the typical hood ornament he had an old dolls head in its place. The dolls head was missing clumps of hair and one eye ball had been poked out. At one point 5 kids tried to steal the doll head off Boris' car while he was in the grocery store. Unfortunately for the would be theives Boris came out while they were jumping in their own car with his dolls head. Boris jumped in his Cadillac chasing the teenagers about half a mile down the road to the lights by the bridge. As the kids tried to run the light Boris slammed into their car spinning them out and disabling their car. 4 of the kids managed to jump out and run onto the neighbors lawn. Boris got over to the driver's side before the kid could escape his car. Boris dragged him out through the window and began to beat the piss out of him. My dad sat on our front lawn watching, the kids 4 friends stood on the neighbors front lawn and said "Please help him". My dad knowing how crazy Boris was and knowing the kids had provoked him said "You guys are on your own". A few minutes into the beating a police officer showed up. He stood next to my dad and while he put some gloves on, he asked my dad "How long has this been going on?". My dad replied with "Aren't you going to jump?", the cop said "Not until back up gets here". After a few more minutes 9 more cops arrived. Then the all of the cops went after Boris. Boris stopped beating the teenage thief and turned his attention to the cops. "I was waiting for you guys to come down here". Boris got the better of all 10 cops for a while but they finally managed to arrest him. As a matter of fact after they had finally worn out Boris and were beating him up on the ground, Boris looked at my dad and started to laugh. A few weeks after the arrest Boris stopped by house with some beer while my dad was working in the garage. Boris gave my dad some beer and my dad said "that was quite a fight", Boris laughed and said "yeah kinda of overpowered me".

Despite the way Boris looked and the creepy car he drove that was not the most unsettling aspect of Boris. Boris often walked around dressed like Peter Pan. A green cap, green tights, and elf shoes, the whole deal. As a matter of fact when Ryan and I were quite young we had once walked down to the store. As we were standing in the check out line Boris came up behind me, fully dressed like Peter Pan. At first I saw the pointy shoes behind me, I looked up to Boris standing there and smiling, he grabbed two candy bars from the rack and put them down by the register. I assumed they were for Ryan and I, knowing Boris' reputation I pushed Ryan to the door and we both took off running leaving whatever we were about to buy right on the counter. It is possible for some reason Boris was actually doint it to be nice to me and Ryan as Boris like most crazies in town really liked my dad. Boris used to stop whenever he saw my dad outside and give him beer, Ryan and I however were not about to take that chance.

One time during the vote for mayor of Randolph, someone thought it would be funny to write in Boris. Boris found out about this and thought it would be a great idea if he was mayor. Since Boris did not have the most votes he decided to take democracy into his own hands. Boris grabbed a stick of dynamite and dressed like Peter Pan sat on top of a giant propane take right in the middle of Randolph. Boris threatened to blow up Randolph if he was not made mayor. I don't know if they promised Boris that he would be mayor but somehow they talked him off the propane tank and threw him in jail. While in jail Boris managed to set his bed on fire.

I am sure Boris spent several nights in jail and in the courthouse. One time my dad actually saw Boris in court. I forget the specific reason my dad was at the court house but he heard "Hey Mr. Gerard." My dad turned around and it was Boris with a team of lawyers behind him. "Why are you here?" my dad said. "I don't know, why am I hear this time guys?" turning to his lawyers, "Murder?" Boris questioned. The lawyers looked at each other and said "No.....should you be?". Boris just laughed.

Boris used to have about 20 to 30 dogs at his house, which was another reason no kids went by his house. Along with the unsettling amount of dogs, it was rumored that Boris would hire teenage boys to work for him and then sexually molest them. There was also the rumor of the first murder Boris was involved in. Before we were even born Boris had a niece who was murdered. The police could not find enough evidence to hold the suspect so he was released. Boris found out who the police had suspected. After Boris found out who was suspected he called the town constable and said "you don't have to worry about him anymore, it has been taken care of". No one ever saw or heard from that guy again. It is rumored that Boris killed him and fed him to his dogs.

So finally we reach the murder suicide. The story goes that Bicycle Barry and Boris Derry were gay lovers and they had a giant fight and Barry was threatening to leave. I guess neighbors heard the fight and that was the last anyone ever saw of Barry. A few days later Boris called the police station and they actually played the recording on the news. Boris admitted he had killed Barry and told the police where they could find the body, he then requested he be buried with his 30 cats, (at some point the police had made Boris get rid of his dogs). Boris then shot himself in the stomach. Even for a kid from Randolph it was very creepy to hear Boris phone called played on the news. To this day Larry's body has not been found.