Three's Company Too

At about this time in our lives Ryan and I were lucky enough to have Cody born as our youngest brother. Cody would end up being probably the best crash test dummy two brothers could ever be given. Within the first couple of days of Cody being home he was sleeping in his crib while Ryan and I played pass with a baseball dangerously close to his crib. Now, I don't exactly recall whose idea it was or who actually threw the ball but I knew it was more than likely on purpose someone threw the ball into Cody's crib hitting him...He never woke up, that's when he found out Cody was exceptionally tough and slept like a tranqued bear during hibernation season in a Swedish made mattress store after three Big Macs.

I got punched in the Balls by a little brat named Cock Knocker
It did not take Cody long to figure out how to hurt people. Cody while still in his walker would go around the house sneaking up on me and Ryan (hard to imagine a kid with a giant plastic bumper car sneaking up on anyone but he did) and pull our hair screaming and refusing to let go. He also had the nasty habit of strolling up to people and punching them square in the balls. I think he just liked to watch people crumble, under his sadistic powers.

Once he got a little older he still continued with his ball punching ways. On one specific occasion my Uncle Reggie was trying to talk to my mom, Cody trying to get his attention by shouting "Uncle, Uncle. Uncle" finally gave up with yelling....he drilled my uncle square in the balls dropping the 6'2'' man to the floor.

In another feat of senseless ball violence Cody crawled under the dinning room table during dinner and gave my dad a Chuck Lidell type shot square to the flesh chandelier. While Ryan and I laughed as my dad crumbled Cody drilled each of us in the test sack, leaving only my mom laughing her brains out.

Boogie Boy
Cody also learned that he had a terrorist device lodged squarely in his nose. When we would have friends over Cody would often trap them in corners with a big green schnoz berry on his finger eerily chanting "Boogie, Boogie, Boogie"

The Head Notch
Ryan and I did however have an answer to Cody's terror tactics. It was what Ghandi would do if he had a pain in the ass little brother. As Cody would come after us with either his hand cocked for a vicious ball knocking or with a terror booger on his finger Ryan or I would grab him by the perfectly shaped notch on the back of his head and hold him face to the ground. Cody still blames us for the notch but I am convinced the notch was there first.

Biggest Mouth Since Bobby the Brain Henan?
Cody had perhaps the most vulgar mouth a little kid has ever had. When he was very young he was playing with some toys in the drive way. My dad pulled in from work and stepped out of his car rolling his ankle on one of Cody's toys. My dad obviously mad yelled at Cody to "Pick his toys up", Cody stood right up and looked at my dad and said "You dont tell me what to do you bastard". My dad so pissed and shocked walked right past Cody and inside to yell at my mom saying "He learns that shit from you". I think that was the last time my dad tried to tell Cody what to do.